


And Will Only Continue To Be This Way

by Whiteasy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, Gen, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24847612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiteasy/pseuds/Whiteasy
Summary: It was once just a bad day before it'd pass. Lately, it hasn't been the case.
Kudos: 12





	And Will Only Continue To Be This Way

**Author's Note:**

> I have no other reasons for writing this other than venting through the character I relate with the most.  
> Trigger Warning: Suicidal ideation.

The scalding hot water was engulfing his body up to his shoulders yet, it wasn’t distracting him from his thoughts. Not enough. Not like it used to. 

Reiner let out a ragged, pained breath. 

_One, two, three, four...._ he drummed his fingertips against his bare knee, in hopes of getting his brain to focus on the monotonous action, to no avail. He couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. 

Today was that kind of day. And lately, like almost every day of his. 

He sighed heavily, again, then hugged his legs to his chest, head lowering down to rest his forehead on his knees. 

He was bare naked but, he felt like a heavy cloak was draped over his shoulders. Suffocating him. 

It trapped him, made him feel smaller, weaker, insignificant. 

He keeps pushing himself harder, over and over again but, silently yearns for the end, of everything. 

Every morning he’d wake up, he’d wish it was his last. Every time he turned into The Armored, he’d pray it would be his last fight, his last kill, before he’d bite the dust. 

But he keeps rising from his ashes, even when he just wants to be buried underground, or better, disappear. Cease to exist. 

_Two years more._ He at least had the privilege of knowing when he will be free. 

He wondered how it was like for those who didn’t. 


End file.
